CITY OF PRETTY Melting at Melt
The final week of my holiday has sufficiently depleted any reserve of strength I might have gathered on this month of vacation. Last week’s column was an indicator of Berlin’s social pace, and this week sped past me like Sebastian Vettel, leaving me sleep-deprived and my ears ringing. If the saying goes ‘Sleep when you’re dead’, I fear that my FOMO could be my garrote.
I find Berlin endlessly fascinating. Living here is dirt cheap but jobs are sparse. People in the street are either drunk or pregnant, because the German government looks after both very well indeed. If you’ve spent time in Berlin you’ll probably agree with me. Most folk do it for themselves here, industriously shaping careers out of and for niche lifestyle needs – boutique clothing stores, galleries, endless amounts of cafes with separate kiddy menus and sandpits. Milfs are pushing prams everywhere, breastfeeding in the park and brunching with fellow milfs at those cafes. In London the only prams I ever see pushed are in Stamford Hill, not by milfs, but by Hasidic women in wigs and court shoes.
On Thursday evening my host Julia and I are asked to DJ at a pop-up bar for an installation exhibition called ‘Made in Berlin’. I have never DJd before and am relatively nervous, especially since we will be getting paid for the gig. Berlin is renowned for its electronic music, and my knowledge of this genre doesn’t extend much further than Justice. Also, I have never stood in front of a mixer, though when we are asked to play I obviously claim to know it all. Julia reassures me that we are only there to have fun. To accommodate my techno illiteracy, we agree on an eclectic mix of cheesy nostalgia with a touch of 90’s class. We play pingpong DJ – she chooses one song and I the next, but it soon becomes evident who’s wearing her competitive pants tonight. Julia sets the new BPM with Azari & III’s ‘Hungry for the Power’ on song six, leaving my remaining playlist of 79 songs null and void. My comeback is Jack Parow and Julia’s not impressed. Nonetheless we are booked again for our next gig in September. I’m going to need a crash course I think!
On the weekend Bench, who are headlining sponsors, invite us to the sold-out Melt Festival near Berlin – electronic music Mecca. It’s the perfect opportunity for me to get a clue. The festival is set on an old mining ground known as the ‘City of Steel’ or Ferropolis. Rusty mining cranes tower 100 metres above 20 000 raving kids (and the odd grown-up) like futuristic dinosaurs. A bloody moon rises above the lake surrounding the festival island, leaving a long trail of light in the water and I swear I can see the water vibrate from the heavy bass, even if only just. I see the Editors, Metronomy, Boyz Noize, Cut Copy, Cold War Kids, Console and Crystal Castles. Oh shit – and I almost forgot The Streets!
Four weeks of suitcase living, flights, cars and trains, lugging around excess baggage due to habitual over-packing. I’m all holidayed out. I need to get back to London to find some peace and quiet – and I don’t think my liver would forgive me one more day on holiday…